Funniest Flippa Auction Ever: “New gtlds ruined me! IM BROKE!”

This is the title of probably the funniest Flippa auction ever: “New gtlds ruined me! IM BROKE! – New gtld portfolio! -NO RESERVE- Take advantage”

“New gtlds portfolio! NO RESERVE – New gtlds ruined me! IM BROKE! Here is your chance to get great names for cheap! Take advantage of my failure! I am about to go bankrupt.”

The writing is very funny but I sometimes felt bad about the guy. This is what the seller has to say about this auction and his financial status:

Didn’t have the chance to register new gtlds in the first days when they came out?

Well I did and I did register way too much of them, with my credit card! WTF did I think?

Now I’m broke as fuck!

Some of those names suck bad. (I was such a noob, why the fuck did I register those shit names?) But some other are great and I would keep them if I could! The thing is now the bank is calling me everyweek, and my cat is getting slimmer everyday.

Here is your chance to get some great names for cheap! NO RESERVE. 1$, 10$, 1 000 000$? Best bid will get all those names!

Keep the ones you want, resell or drop the shitty ones you don’t want!

He then goes on to list all the domains that are included in this auction. All 43 domain names. Here are a few I found puzzling and some that I found simply hilarious:

BigCock.guru (I think this one is okay, maybe try to sell it to a pornstar or impress your friends with a email like Brad@BigCock.guru, even try to sell emails addresses to your friends?)

Belt.clothing (WTF did I think? Pants.clothing okay, T-shirt.clothing, but wtf Belt.clothing? I’m not native english but does it even makes sense? If it does then I guess it’s great for an ecommerce to sell belts! Everyone wears belts.)

PenisEnlargment.guru (How noob was I? This one is a fucking typo. Should be PenisEnlargement.guru … Another 30$ wasted I guess. DROP THIS ONE.)

Haha.guru (Not sure why I registered this…..)

AltaVista.guru (Remember the old altavista search engine? Me neither. I registered it because Yahoo owns AltaVista.com. But please tell me you will drop this shitty name.)

LiveCloud.guru (Another shitty name I don’t know why I registered. WTF is a LiveCloud? Anyway if you know what it is, maybe this name can be useful to you.)

West.bike (I think this is a great brandable one. I contacted some companies but the fuckers never replied to me!)

West.clothing (Another great brandable. Kanye West is selling clothes. Maybe try to contact him and ask him a couple millions $ for this one? Here’s a trick, contact him with the an email and the subdomain kanye.west.clothing eg: supbitch@kanye.west.clothing)

Ratio.guru (Wtf can you do with that kind of name?)

Informative.guru (Are you an email spammer? Keep spamming the shit out of everyone but with a great email address eg: seo@informative.guru)

Most.recipes (Here is a shitty slogan you could use to match that almost good name: We got a lot of recipes but not all of them!)

Marry.guru (Oh well… Drop this shit I guess.)

Lots.guru (Not sure if this is worth anything at all.)

CreditCare.guru (I had a shitty offer of 40$ for this one, but why the fuck didnt I take it?)

FreeCam.singles (This suck bad, drop it.)

I have no idea why he lists all the domains he thinks are bad, including typos, and that everybody should drop. I think he should be writing some comedy scripts instead of buying domain names. This auction is very funny but some of the domains made me feel a bit sad about the guy.

He then ends the auction description with a great sales pitch:

“Well I guess this it it. See how I bought way too much of them? Now I am about to go bankrupt.

Once again, NO RESERVE. Best bidder will get all those awesome names (and the shit ones). Don’t worry you can just drop the ones you don’t want, they won’t cost you a penny and they most likely never will get registered again!“